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Dumbest online dating sites


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I'm looking for that special someone who will share my passion for toast, all kinds of toast -- white toast, whole-wheat toast, rye toast, toasted bagels and when I'm feeling disobedient and crazy, a Pop Citrusy. To me, toast is the ultimate turn-on. There is everything like a woman who smells like toast!

I picture us sitting on a couch in front of my sixty toasters, getting nice and toasty, sipping brandy from glasses with croutons floating in them, talking endlessly about the splendors of Perhaps one day you thinks fitting ask me to spread butter and jam on your society. Or cream cheese -- I'm not particular. Are you that special woman? As I eternally display my person in the modest attire of a Jane Austen character -- petticoats, bodice, period hat, corset - and comport myself thusly, I would expect that my date do the same.

I picture you as the image of Mr. Darcy, a handsome, dashing, gentleman who is arrogant and disdainful, yet holds a certain allure. As I spend my days doing the things Jane Austen heroines do -- nothing lots -- you will be foxhunting and walk about with a riding crop which you slap in a manly modus vivendi = 'lifestyle' against your manly thighs hence producing welts.

Anon, I last will and testament realize that I have active affection for you and we shall wed.

Attach to your existing Cracked account if you deliver one or create a new Cracked username. A particular of my New Year's resolutions was to get off b write down back into the dating scene, but there's at most one problem: It has been mathematically proven that I'm savage at it. And I finally take why: It's because I'm a frightful person. But that doesn't mean I'm doomed to be ugly alone, due to at there's a dating website for villainous people to find appalling love: It's called all of them.

Every put dating website out there is unexceptionally filled to the brink with my kind of people.

Secret ingredient to Loving Relationship? Hey handsome! If you friend me, I'll friend you! I'm looking for a guy who "likes" Facebook as much as I do. These hilarious and weird online dating messages will make you glad you're single or already coupled up..

Something like that users of social networking for Dating:

  • Books (about sex): "Lazzat Un Nisa"

  • Film genre: Spiritual film

  • Sex symbols: Olga Kurylenko

  • Problems: Is male "bicuriosity" something you should tell girls about

It's Not Okay, Cupid: The...

Because there are three things that I'm the tits at: It was all rapidly cascading text, like hacking into the Matrix, but instead of code it was just the words "LOL" over and over again, repeating to infinity.

While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet. And every single one of those things is the exact opposite of everybody on the Internet. I'll level with you, readers: After reading messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboard a few times and pressed "send," my already flimsy grasp on reality was loosening.

Link to your existing Cracked account if you participate in one or create a new Cracked username. As a child of the Internet and confirmed nut, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness -- dating -- to my laptop as contrasted with. I've been using in unison of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a gross cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and everyday propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet.

I got the consciousness that a lot of men on that home would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, till doomsday wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Ground, hoping to prove that there exists an on the net dating profile so revolting that no man would message it.

In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: I maintain that there is not a magnanimous on this planet who would read this make capital out of and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fugacious time I'm given on my journey around the sun getting to discern this person.

Look on my works, ye husky, and despair:. My wonderful friend Rae agreed to let me use some of her Facebook portraits for this profile. that last bit is relevant here, I deem. I figured any advance with photos of a beautiful woman would go a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality. The captions on her photos were tried as draped in red flags as her describe was, so there's no way they were wholly clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, dialect mayhap she'd get a several of messages a time from people with noticeably low reading comprehension.

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Dumbest online dating sites

These 10 entertaining and depressing emails and texts desire make you want to stay separated or tickled you're coupled up. Anything to shirk dating these guys.

We don't ken whether to be impressed because that guy was so into view Ladies, you'll want to jump on this! From the euphonious username to the in the balance court turns out that to the shiny elevated heels, that guy is an complete gem. Certain dude, let's get a drink. You know, there could be a picture where it's acceptable to bring up masturbation in a anything else text bulletin, because, you know


  • Name: Minerva
  • Age: 19
  • Heigh: 5'.1"
  • Weight: 54 kg.
  • Drinker: Regular drinker
  • Sex "toys": French tickler

  • Films (about sex): Zipperface

About ME: I want to find a cute decent guy. I have a vivid imagination and love to explore as much as possible. Searching for that man who hasn't forgotten the art of foreplay. I'm not looking for a husband, but i don't want to be your piece of meat either. I am a very oral person.

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