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My husband cheated on me when we were dating


At some point after this happened, you decided to "forgive" him and try to move past it. You decided that your feelings for your husband and what the two of you have together is more important than the fact that he had sex with another woman in the beginning stages of your relationshipto the point where you decided that you wanted to marry him and spend your life with him.

I understand that it still bothers you and you're still upset about it, but here's the thing: Try to think of a time that you've done something that hurt someone you care about and regretted it. It doesn't have to be cheating, just anything.

Now imagine that years later, that person keeps asking you for more details about that thing you did that hurt them. How long do you plan on making him pay for what he did when presumably you've told him you forgive My husband cheated on me when we were dating and are willing to move past this? Further, it's not good for YOU. I understand how not knowing all the details can drive you crazy. If it were me, I'd probably build it up to be a way bigger deal than it really was in terms of things like, imagining she was super-model hot and that it was the best sex he ever had, etc.

For me, knowing the details would probably make me feel badbut still better than what my imagination would come up with; for other people, knowing the details would be heart-wrenchingly painful. My advice is that if you REALLY need to know the details and you genuinely think that will help you move on, then tell your husband, "Let me ask you these questions about it, and after that, I will never bring it up again.

Because the thing is, if you want a happy relationship with your husband, you cannot keep hanging this over his head. How long do you plan on rubbing his nose in it until you feel satisfied and can move on?

You need to put this behind you so that you and your husband can focus on My husband cheated on me when we were dating a happy future together. What's done is done and there's nothing that can change that. There's no question you can ask or detail you can know that's going to make it go away. The only thing that can lessen the pain is if you put it behind you and start moving forward. If you keep focusing on the past, you'll forget to live in the present.

This is hurting your husband and will only drive him further away from you. Think about the bigger picture. Even though he slept with the other person, he chose you. He could have left you, and he could have dated the other girl. However, he didn't; he gave you everything that he has by marrying you. What more do you want? You can't change the past.

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Focus on the present. If you keep on pushing this issue, he'll either cheat again or leave.

Well, if you keep bringing it up, even if you aren't saying it out right, you're more or less drilling in the message: Most likely, he slept with her more than just one time.

When is the last time a guy slept with a girl just once. And that is probably why he doesn't want you to ever bring it up. Because he just wants the past to go away.

Actually, to be honest this is kind of more your problem than his. When you found out that he cheated on you back in the day, you had a choice at that point: You chose to move on. The time for all of these questions and discussions about this was when it happened. Or you could've said, "I'll forgive you but I won't move on and I'll bring this up for the rest of our lives together whenever I'm not feeling good about us or just randomly from time to time.

Learn to move on. Don't let that situation can ruin your relationship with your husband. If I were you I show my love on him everyday so he will feel that he he did a right decision to marry you. If you go on Youtube, one professor said that the happiest time is on your wedding day and then it goes down and up and down but will never be the same as the wedding day.

Unfortunately, you don't have enough trust in him and unfortuately for him, he is reminded of the "one" time every once in a while.

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If you can't move on, then you need therapy or couple sessions because if you push someone over and over and over. Telling them that they made a mistakes, they will start think you are their mistake. If you date him and was also in love with your best friend at the time and you thought they maybe you could go somewhere with your boyfriend and it turns out that you really liked your boyfriend.

Then OK, problem solve you realized then that your boyfriend is the one you want to marry and not your best friend. He was probably like that but without much emotion maybe just sex. You both need to work it out. All I know is if you keep pushing people and things in the past can't be change eventually they will get tired and start wondering away Just my two cents.

You either have to let it go, or let him go.

Okay. At some point after...

It's not fair on either of you to keep bringing it up and rubbing it in his face. You want him to be grateful that you forgave him etc, which is unreasonable. You made a decision and now you have to live up to it. And trust me, you're better off not knowing. Then leave it be. How does knowing the details make it any better? You're just trudging up these old "My husband cheated on me when we were dating" and bringing them into the present.

I did break up with him initally but for a few hours, he kept calling me loads of times and when I eventually answered he told me he was gonna kill himself. So have you forgiven him? Do you really think he wouldn't do it again? Do you think he was completely honest with you? Do you trust him? I can't remember how the conversation went exactly, but he convinced me it would never happen again and he loved me, so I stayed with him and our relationship is going great except for the odd question that I can't help bringing up once in a while.

It's obvious that you'll never be okay with the cheating, but at the end of the day you can't build a life and family with one another if you aren't willing to trust him wholeheartedly and put that stage of your lives behind you.

Whenever you want to ask a question about it, just think to yourself "I love him, and I've forgiven him. I trust that he will never do that My husband cheated on me when we were dating me again" and don't say it. I'm not sure that he's telling me the truth about what really happened, which is maybe why I keep asking abou but I trust he wouldn't cheat on me now.

At the end of the day, knowing makes absolutely no difference. However, the fact that you can't trust him makes a massive difference. If you really think he was and is dishonest, maybe you aren't right for one another.

Forgiving in cases like these...

Maybe he thought you got over it, and he gets upset because you keep bringing it up and not letting it go. Maybe he feels that if it bothered you so much that you have to interview him about it then you wouldn't have married him. My husband cheated on me when we were dating He cheated on me when we were in a long-distance relationship and we weren't that serious. I told my husband I don't think I'll ever fully get over it, I'll certainly never forget about it.

I'm jealous, obviously, which I'm trying with difficulty to help. No problem, I hope you can work things out. Would you miss someone who genuinely loved you and did anything for you?

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Agree with all of it. Also love the new profile shot! Most Helpful Opinion mho Rate. Select as Most Helpful Opinion? Found out my husband cheated on me for a year – not when we were married but when we were dating. His pursuit of online dating and dating.

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